Not sure why I'm bothering making an entry, guess I just want to make sure I don't forget what happened tonight... Had to be the worst pen and paper rpg experience I've ever had. So yeah, note to self...fuck airel cones!
let me set the stage a bit, now on top of ALL of the below stuff related to dnd ------...one guy brought his ONE YEAR OLD, his 7 year old step son (who really was cool he just watched star wars in another room) and his brand new non house broken puppy.
the 1 year old had NO interest in being there. PERIOD. wanted to go home and wanted its moms. it made this verbal clear... in that not-really-a-human-but-kind-of-is way that 1 year olds are. ALL FUCKING NIGHT. and for a dog that is smaller than my god damn shoe...it smelled...the dog mind you. and when it did shit...in the game room...at least twice...it was god damn foul. did i mention i think it ate its shit?
now
this DM is old school, 1.0 and 2.0 old school. his "key player", my best friend is as well, but he is known as the "it doesn't say i can't, so i can" rules guy
the other players are just there for whatever, with two of them being interested in pathfinder
i myself prefer 3.5. the two old school guys have said in the past they do not like 3.5 for it takes out the role play and makes it very black and white and doesn't allow for much outside thinking. i will admit it has it turned more into a board game, but it is what u make it.
so we start. and dm wants to run this old 1.0 module, keep on borderlands, but doesn't convert it. when a monster pops up he'll get the new stats, but is even giving us old 1.0 gold.
so a fight breaks out. let's use this grid
12345 6789A BCDEF
wizard is at 3, gnome bard is at 8 and bandits are at c,d,e he wants to cast color spray, cone attack, but wants to angle it UPWARD a bit so the cone flies over 8 and the gnome, the gnome argues he isn't FACING that way so it shouldnt matter anyway.
i explain by rules it doesn't work that way, the game is written as a 2D grid effect, he breaks into a 5 minute deffinition of a CONE and how it is a 3D concept and they should have used the word FAN instead. he then asks if a flying monster was DIRECTLY above him could it cast it UP and it cone out and up. i again explain that the game is written as a 2D grid, same as if u fall into a pit trap, u just DO. u can't carve a hole in the fucking table to make a hole.
they then go to explain how this is 3rd eds fault and u can do this in 2nd, which i start asking why they are playing this then.
rules call is made, and gm decides he wants to make a diff call than the RULES. fine, GM is allowed to.
half an hour later they want to continue the discussion. so it all starts again. i'm like FUCK THIS, i call wizard, piazo has just closed. they confirm the grid 2D thing, and u dont shoot spells UP like he wanted to or ever ABOVE u. and the squares are to be considered a volume issue. its a 5' foot "hit" box, you are constantly moving around in combat, etc, etc. but he adds, a GM should rule on the fairness of fun
keep in mind at this point, as much as i call bull shit, i agree with the GM and we have moved on. my bestiey bud here just wants to know why i can't play outside of the black and white of the game.
i explain the rules call and ALL the call. 2d thing, gm call thing, to which he is now "done" with these versions.
at this point i explain that i LIKE rules, i LIKE black and white but this isn't MY game, so we go by the GM..aka YOU WON THE GOD DAMN RULES CALL. he then procedes to tell me i play wrong.
skip ahead 10 mins. he finds a passage "She casts a spell at her ... blah blah blah" Oh, we can't do this! its in BLACK AND WHITE, they only use the pronoun SHE and we are all male. so we can't cast.
guess he wasn't ready for this
i quote the god damn page number and area where the game explains the use of pronouns HE, SHE, IT and how they use them all or whatever to be PC, way early in the book.
he IGNORES THIS and continues to explain how its black and white and should only effect females.
it is now 8pm ish. i have been here since 230/3ish. i walk out. mid combat "need to make a phone call"
see the DM, "dude, im fucking out. not mad, just not having fun." so glad i didn't bring my own dice or anything, just up and left. no scene, nada.
back track...we get jumped by spearmen. spears are kind of a pain because of the threat area and attacks of oper, etc etc. after the first combat, with these i explain that for learning new rules this might have been a slight bad idea. party of 6 guys...8 spear men and 3 archers...little more complicated than say 5 goblins
"A SPEAR IS A GOD DAMN STICK" yeah i get that GM (name withheld) "THEY CAN'T BE THIS POWERFUL ITS A FUCKING PIECE OF WOOD" they aren't powerful per say, they just have diff rules due to range "THIS IS BULL SHIT" dude, are u still on your cimbalta? "NO.."
he has REAL, like REAL REAL rage issues, like throw a tire iron through a car windshield rage issues. like end up in jail rage issues. like prison tattoo rage issues... if u are wondering, yes, these are references to things that have happened
dont get me wrong though. cool ass guy.
i then leave, go to my favorite pizza/bar/sandwich place, have two pints of rogue dead guy, and eat my avocado hoagie. Mellow Mushroom is my home away from home.
my waitresses (i know them all pretty well) then procede to call cops on ex bfs that are threating them or something.
the rest of the night is kind of a blur...six hours sleep within 48, and rapid beer consumtion....
