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Nick: 
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Year: 2006
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1 pages
Size: Letter
English
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Description Edit | History

From the introduction:

OK, Here’s The Fuckin’ Deal

Big Mutherfuckin’ Crab Truckers is a role-playing game about Big Mutherfuckin’ Crabs. Or Crab-People. Some shit like that. Anyway, they’re real fuckin’ big. We’re talking as big as a big mutherfuckin’ trucker, maybe 300 lb, but square, with beady fuckin’ eyes, 8 legs and a pair of pincers as heavy as a bag of fuckin’ plutonium clawhammers. Yeah, that fuckin’ big.

And they truck. Yeah, they drive shit across the desert to please their Mutherfuckin’ Crab Goddess. And they truck in heavy, chromed trucks with lots of fuckin’ wheels, rasping engines and big ol’ cabs. The sorts of cabs that could fit 300 lb square, heavy set, big mutherfuckin’ crabs in it. And they are the shit.

So, why do they do it? It’s in their fuckin’ nature. When you’re a big fuckin’ crab, drivin’ a truck all day you get a lot of time to turn things over in your mind. And listen to religious radio too. And it gets you thinkin’ about where you fit in on the great wheel of life. And then you get religion. And to a big mutherfuckin’ crab, religion don’t get much higher than the Mutherfuckin’ Crab Goddess who resides on that wonderously beautiful and most sacred place: Crab Mountain. And what she says, goes. Word.

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