MakMurdo's Infinite Sewer (2012)

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“Hey! Hey you, over here. You like money? Yeah, who doesn’t? Well, have I got a treat for you. You ever heard of MakMillin MakMurdo. No? Where are you from? Never mind. His is a tragic tale. MakMurdo was an inventor of no equal, a genius grade mathematician and to top it all the greatest architect of the ages, a master of inspired design and artful construction. They called him the great builder. He designed the palaces of kings and the fortresses of tyrants. He created the Hanging Towers of Surfette; you’ve seen that magnificent piece of work, right? NO? Who are you people? Anyhow, his last great work was a gift to the people, the most wondrous public works project ever envisioned. The most complex waste water system ever devised. Where did he build this master work? Why right here under this city. Endless miles of runoff tunnels and slurry flow tubes, catch basins and skimming pools, reservoirs and fonts, the old architect of the ages really out did himself with this one. The sheer scale of it drove him mad they say. But they’re idiots! It was the Henkle root extract that drove him mad, took it for his rheumatism, he did. Old MakMurdo, went crazy as a Yottle in a bottle, he disappeared down there, you know, oh it was ages ago. They say he took his crew with him, his top men, down they went , dragging all sorts of treasures along, the best of his inventions, all sorts of prizes and wonders, all worth a king’s ransom. They say he just kept on building, just kept going, tunneling, paving, and plumbing along until the end. When was that? No one knows for sure. But all that loot is still down there. A group of quick adventurous fellows might do real well going down there and retrieving all that wealth. How do you get down there? Well the city officials have the whole place sealed off from the city proper these days on account of the, you know, things down there, oh and the cultists. They just can’t seem to get enough of the place. There is only one entrance still open and unguarded these days. Where? Well, I can’t say for sure. I can’t quite remember that sort of thing. Maybe for a bit of scratch an old man might remember such faded details. Ouch! Ok! Ok! No need to get rough. It’s right there. You’re standing on it, just lift up that metal disc there and in you go! Oh, and good luck.”