The sequel to the ENnie / GenCon d20 Award-winning* Portable Hole Full of Beer (this product contains no alcohol) is Here! That's right! The product that made Ryan Dancey exclaim "God Help Us All"**
Introducing the FLUMPHONOMICON, page after page of Flumphy goodness, featuring Avatars of the Flumph, the Lord of the Flumph, the dreaded Dark Flumph and mighty Dire Flumph, and more! All Flumph, All the time!
How much would you expect to pay for this Slayers Guide to the Essential and Quintessential Flumph?
A buck seventy-five?
How about if we threw in the recently discovered "Donbians buk oh magicks", featuring all of the great and potent spells of the mighty gnome magus, Donbian? Yes! We have uncovered this ancient manuscript of original magical spells and are including it FOR FREE with the Flumphonomicon, the Slayers Guide to the Essential and Quintessential Flumph! This is the book you never wanted to read, with such arcane scribings as Donbian's Explosive Flatulence, Donbian's Bag of Doorknobs and Donbian's Singing Wart!
Now how much would you expect to pay?
Two dollars and change?
But there is MORE! We have compiled these mighty tomes together under ONE COVER! And we have dubbed it, Son of a Portable Hole!
With your Son of a Portable Hole, we are including a FREE Clothes Hamper of Endless Laundry! And a tourist's guidebook to the elemental plane of CANDY (Ambient inc. Is not responsable for tooth decay and obesity resulting from visits to the elemental plane of candy).
Now how much would you expect to pay for all this? $2.79?
But there is more! The sequel to dungeon module OP-2 (Return to the Orc and the Pastry) is also here! This adventure takes the party beyond the bounds of pie itself! And in honour of the Year of the Drow, we have included the most insidious of enemies, a FLAMING DROW POODLEMANCER!
Now how much? Three dollars and eighteen cents I heard from the back of the room... Well, that's just TOO MUCH!
What if I told you it was fully illustrated by an army of skilled artists? Then we could charge an arm and a leg for it, you say?
Don't believe a word of it!
Don't break down our doors with money in hand to get your own personal copy of Son of a Portable Hole! Don't line up at your Friendly Local Gaming Store*** for Revenge of the Orc & the Pastry! NO! You will be able to download it ALL, FOR FREE, from those hoopy froods over at RPGNow****!
That's right! FOR FREE!
Download it on April 1st, and we will include, free of charge, a gift set of magical codpieces! MAGICAL CODPIECES! Where else will you get free magical codpieces with TWO ancient manuscripts, a tourist guide to the elemental plane of candy AND the entire "Revenge of the Orc and the Pastry"?
Only in Son of a Portable Hole
And it is all FREE!
That's Right, It's FREE!
To convince you how amazing this book is, we have included an honest to goodness USED CAR SALESMAN in it! Yes, your VERY OWN d20 Used Car Salesman prestige class!
I am so excited to tell you all this that I am actually salivating at the thought of getting my very own Son of a Portable Hole!
(not available in stores, batteries not included, some equipment shown is optional. Warning: pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid prolonged exposure to Son of a Portable Hole. all models over 18 years of age. list was current at time of printing. may cause physical trauma, up to and including agitation of prostate. discontinute use if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, hearing loss, dizziness, blurred vision, tingling in extremities, muscle twitching, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, ringing in the ears, diarrhea, odoriferous belching, uncontrollable flatulence, profuse sweating or heart palpitations. reader assumes full responsibility. do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. read at your own risk.)
- - winner "Best Free Product or Web Enhancement" @ the 2002 Gen Con EN World d20 System Awards
- - "And the winner is.... God help us all... Portable Hole Full of Beer" - Ryan Dancey, Gen Con EN World d20 System Awards ceremony, Milwaukee, WI, Friday, August 9th, 2002.
- - Ambient Inc. asks that you support your FLGS when buying other, non-free products. Our hobby needs our FLGS!
- - Hoopy froods who really know where their towels are.