Santa Claws is best suited for the Dark Faery Tale vein of storytelling. No one wants Santa running a global sex shop—so keep it Rated PG, folks. No, instead he swaps toys for children then sweeps back to his icebrick castle atop the North Pole. Once there, he puts his captives to work at the Great Cookie Machine. Every hour of every day, the Great Cookie Machine keeps pumping out a wide variety of cookies: chocolate chip, gingerbread, frosted sugar. Without children to work this machine, Santa Claws’ wicked craving for cookies won’t be satiated.