The Black Country
One Squirrel to rule them all, One Squirrel to find them, One Squirrel to bring them all and in the darkness TPK them.
Deathtrap Dungeon of Doom
Reg-R-NLD Team Leader
Job-R-BOY The Equipment Guy
Con-R-TST Happiness Officer
All is well in Alpha Complex.
The COMPUTER says so.
The COMPUTER is your friend.
All hail the COMPUTER!
The Players turn up, but only one is wearing the correct clearance colour of Red so the other two are immediately awarded Treason Points. After dealing with this treasonous action against the COMPUTER I invite them in. Remember, the COMPUTER is watching you at all times!
Fresh from their first assignment Troubleshooters Reg-R-NLD and Job-R-BOY and joined by fresh meat to the grinder, I mean Troubleshooter, Con-R-TST.
After mandatory hygiene routine the three brave and loyal Troubleshooters are alerted to a disturbance at the Monkey Window in Sector 1164211 and are to report to R&D before proceeding to their assignment.
Entering R&D the Troubleshooters are met by Franz, a short hunch-backed man in a white coat who walks with a limp and talks with an odd indefinable accent. He leads the Troubleshooters through to the weapons testing area where they are led towards a table with three chromed state-of-the-art Laz Rifles. At which point three Vulture Squadron goons march in pushing past the Troubleshooters, pick up the three Laz Rifles and march out, stopping only to sneer with contempt and distain at the lowly Troubleshooters. Professor Monty then greets the Troubleshooters and dismisses Franz, who is after all only the receptionist.
As Team leader Reg-R-NLD volunteers his teammates for equipment testing.
Job-R-Boy is more than happy to test 5 standard issue Gas Grenades.
Con-R-TST is bemused at the Trout Gun. The Troubleshooter is given special clearance on the knowledge that a Trout is an ancient creature, but that is all he is cleared for.
As Team Leader Reg-R-NLD is given two pieces of equipment. The first is a Pull from stone to hit people with stick (generally known as a sword). The second is a special suit of armour, the MkII Travel Machine with Plunger (which looks nothing like a red Dalek). It does not have any weapons and has no power of it’s own so the Troubleshooter will have to move it by shuffling his feet across the floor.
Con-R-TST is also given a special piece of equipment to test. For this he is led into the deepest high security vaults into an ice-cold chamber in a chamber guarded by a million laz cannons. Con-R-TST is eventually given a small black box, which when opened has a red button. When he enquires what it does he is told that is up to him to report as he is the testing officer. Although it is strongly recommended that he not be within 10 miles of R&D when he tests it.
The Troubleshooters leave R&D. Leaving the towering building they find themselves at the top of the grand steps outside R&D. Shuffling along in his MK II travel machine with plunger Reg-RNLD has a problem. (This is NOT a Dalek, and no, it cannot fly) Eventually Reg manages to carry his armour suit down the steps and the Troubleshooters head off to… ah… no one can remember where they were supposed to go. They remember the Monkey Window. Being Happiness Officer Con-R-TST knows about the Monkey Windows. They are large screens with an interactive computer monkey. The money makes silly faces to make the people of Alpha Complex happy. Happiness is mandatory.
Taking a stab in the dark (which is likely what the team are going to get) the Troubleshooters head off to find the relevant Monkey Window.
The Troubleshooters head to the wrong district and soon realise this. They find themselves in an industrial district where an explosion in a vat of… something … has leaked green ooze over the street and soon blocks their path. Reg-R-NLD decides he should be able to roll through the green ooze, which he does successfully. The others have no option but to walk through it. Fortunately for them it was not harmful… well, not that they know of.
Job-R-BOY contacts the COMPUTER for assistance, indicating that their Team Leader has led them to the wrong place (Treason Points for the Team Leader there). After getting the correct location the Troubleshooters head for the correct Monkey Window. There they find a group of juvenile citizens teasing and causing the Monkey Window to become confused and distressed. The Troubleshooters shout a warning to the juveniles and Reg-R-NLD charges into action, shuffling his MKII travel machine with Plunger forward, holding out his sword shouting, “EX-CAL-IB-UR! EX-CAL-IB-UR! EX-CAL-IB-UR!!!" The miscreants flee and Con-R-TST calms down the Window Monkey by leading it and the crowd of bystanders in a sing-a-long to “Hey, Hey We’re the Monkees,” and, “I’m the king of the Swingers.”
Job-R-Boy noticed that one of the miscreants dropped something. He picks it up, it’s an odd plastic cuboid with the writing, “Die Hard", written down one side.
Reg-R-NLD, secretly a member of the Romantics Secret Society, realises it is an ancient item, one that could be valuable to his society. As Team Leader he takes possession of the item and leads his team on a winding route trying to lose them, but fails. Eventually he just takes his team to meet his secret contact, Bernard, who works in a We Love the COMPUTER shop selling mugs and t-shirts with the slogan ‘We Love the COMPUTER’ on them. Reg-R-NLD speaks to Bernard who takes him into the back room to examine the plastic item they had found. It’s confirmed that it is a video cassette, an information storage device of the old times.
But no sooner than Bernard gave this information a scream and a loud roar could be heard from behind a bookcase of the back room. The other Troubleshooters also heard the roar and rush to investigate just as a fire-breathing Dragon-Bot bursts through the bookcase!!!
To be continued…